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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Terrified Author Post


No, it's not another giveaway. *cue disappointed faces* This is the post where I confess how absolutely terrified I am that my book is coming out in 33 days. People might read it. Or they might not. They might like it. Or they might not. Right now, it's all in front of me--this big abstract MOMENT I've built up in my mind which could turn out to be anything from abysmally disappointing to supremely lovely to anywhere in between.

The strange thing is, as the release day ticks ever closer, instead of wanting to publicize and promote and pimp like crazy, more than ever I want to hide from the world--just hibernate in a comfy cell with no internet connection and emerge some time in May after it's all over. I'm an introvert at heart--always have been. Anything remotely resembling a spotlight sends me into "fight or flight" mode, and right now I'm a major flight risk.

But I know I can't go anywhere. I have a release date set. A launch party planned. Yes, family and friends and colleagues are coming out to cheer me on at a real live bookstore. There will be food! And a reading! And a signing! The stuff of my adolescent dreams! And while I am endlessly grateful for this opportunity and for the support of friends and loved ones, I am also still that little girl who cried when she got one question wrong on her Kindergarten achievement test.

Yes, I'm a perfectionist. A people pleaser. I want you to like me. I want you to like my words. The thought of my little book going out into the big scary world sometimes paralyzes me. And yet, this is why I took my manuscript out of the drawer one day and sent it away to agents. Because I wanted to be a writer then, and I still do. All introversion aside, I want to connect with people, and this is the best way I know how.

So on March 31, as much as I might want to hop the next flight to Mazatlan and not come back until I'm fluent in Spanish, I'll be at the Doylestown Bookshop signing copies of my book. If you live in the area, I'd love to see you there. And I'll try real hard not to throw up on your shoes.

21 comments:

aLmYbNeNr said...

I'm really going to try to be there. And I'm sure you'll have a lot more fun than you think. Nerves are normal. Don't forget, some of us will be nervous to meet you too. We might babble. :)

Giada M. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Giada M. said...

I wish I could be there to cheer you! I'm going to do it anyway here in Italy. ;D Best of Luck!

Kristen Kittscher said...

I'm more than a year out from that moment, and I'm *already* terrified.

It'll be a wonderful launch, I'm sure. Sending you calming vibes so you can actually enjoy it!

Eve Marie Mont said...

Thanks, Amber. Yes, I should remember that most people have nerves about events like this. And I have to say, I like babblers.

Giada, I wish you could be here, too. But I wish I was there in Italy!

Thanks, Kristen, for the calm vibes. It's nice to know I'm not alone!

Heather Anastasiu said...

Hey Eve!! So much good wishes for your launch, and giant hugs for you! Your book is WONDERFUL, I can't wait for other people to get to read it and fall in love with it as much as I did!!! But I understand too, I keep waiting for some part of this whole buisness to be less terrifying and anxiety-making, and I haven't found it yet. Let's pretend that a year from now, when both our books are on shelves, we'll be pros at telling our fears to go shove it, and we'll have survived and thrived through our launches ;)

Eve Marie Mont said...

Thanks, Heather! At least we're keeping each other company with posts about panicked editor emails and general writer freak-outs. And yes, it will be so fun to commiserate months from now after it's all over--just before we have to gear up to do it all over again for our sequels. Argh!!!

prerna pickett said...

good luck! I'm looking forward to reading your book.

Tiffany Schmidt said...

I can't wait! I'll be there to cheer you on-- and you WON'T puke on anyone's feet. Promise.

...though I can wear my rainboots to be safe if it will make you feel better :)

Eve Marie Mont said...

Thank you, Prerna!

And Tiffany, better wear your rainboots just in case. So glad not to be going through this alone!

GinaRosati said...

Thank you for sharing this, Eve! I know I'm going to go through the same feelings, and I'm printing this blogpost out to reread when my panic attacks start in July! I love A BREATH OF EYRE so much and I can't wait to share it with my friends! Breathe in ... breathe out!

Eve Marie Mont said...

Oh, Gina, thank you. It actually helps to remind yourself to breathe. Weird how those little affirmations work. And it means so much to be going through this madness with you & the rest of the 2k12 crew!

Jaime Morrow said...

I totally understand how this might feel. It's such a personal thing, and it's perfectly normal to feel that way. Have no fear, though. Your story sounds wonderful and the cover is beautiful and eye-catching! Good luck :-)

Eve Marie Mont said...

Thank you, Jaime! Writing is such a personal thing, so it's hard to let go of it and open it up to the public. But thank you for your lovely comments!

Lisa Shafer said...

I'm really excited to read the book! It's on my wishlist at amazon. :)

Eve Marie Mont said...

Thanks, Lisa! I love your little avatar with the light saber!

Jessica Spotswood said...

Oh, I so totally sympathize with this! I was terrified for the first few days on tour, but it gets so much easier. I promise. And Doylestown Bookshop was so so nice; they'll give you ginger ale to help your stomach!

I wish I could be there to celebrate with you, but I'll be going out and buying your book as soon as I can! Thank you again for coming last week!

Eve Marie Mont said...

Thanks, Jessica! This means a lot from someone who just came from the trenches. Although I think I may need something stronger than ginger ale...

Amy L. Sonnichsen said...

Oh boy, I don't blame you for feeling this way. I haven't even accomplished anything (in the literary sense) and I'm terrified of ever having my book launched. Argggh! But how exciting at the same time. I think the only descriptor suitable is anguish mixed with joy. Try to enjoy the ride! xoxo

Jill Hathaway said...

Hahaha, I just wrote a blog post like this!

You'll be great! I'll have a drink for you the night of your launch party!

I will be at mine, trying not to throw up on my own shoes!

roro said...

good luck! I'm looking forward to reading your book.